THE TWO CYCLE ENGINE SAAB AND SAVING THE PLANET EARTH

By Eddie Adelstein 

When I was just married and I bought a golden yellow Chevrolet station wagon,  I realized that I was headed for a  pattern of life that was best expressed by Thoreau who said, “Most men live life of quiet desperation” It was the same kind of car that my parents bought and it gave me no pleasure. I became aware of patterns of life that I was following and it wasn’t full of pleasant thoughts. I then bought a 50-acre farm with an abandoned house against all advice and have lived there for 47 years. Over the years, I slowly added another 110 acres and am now living on a very valuable tract of land.  

My parents visited me after I had made a down payment on my house. The family hoped that I would buy a doctor’s house where success is measured only by the number of square feet. I was particularly impressed with the upstairs, and when my mother saw it, she yelled to my father that it was even worse up there than down there.  My father then said words that I will never forget. 

He said, “It looks like you’re going to be one of those kids that does well in school but in real life you are going to have lots of problems.”

When I was in my second year of pathology residency, there was an older white-haired pathologist who drove a gray Saab station wagon.  After hearing that he was selling it, I bought it for $200. There was only one person in Columbia Missouri who would service it, so I brought it to him and he said, “I don’t want to work on that car anymore.” 

 The car was interesting because it had a three-cylinder two cycle engine.  That means that there needed to be oil mixed with the gas or the pistons would freeze and the engine would fail.  It came with a large book and gave instructions on how to fix and tune the engine . It was at that time one of  few front-wheel drive cars. A Saab of this type had recently won the Circuit de Monaco in Monte Carlo, as it was driven by 300-pound Swedish drivers who kept the acceleration down to the floor and it outran in snowy weather all the fancy cars that it was racing against

The two-cycle engine means that every time the piston comes to the top of the cylinder it is pushed down by the igniting of the gas from the spark plug. This is different from a four-cycle engine where the engine fires every other stroke of the piston.  This is  why chainsaws are two cycle engines because they are much smaller and very efficient at high speeds.  The four cycle engines have the piston lubricated from within and not from the oil in the gas.  The Saab company received a lot of criticism as these engines released a lot of blue smoke from their exhaust and  the engines were replaced with Ford V4 four stroke engines. 

I became fascinated by these cars made in the 1960s and started buying up all the Saabs that I could find in Columbia Mo.  Some of them had the two cycle and some the V4 engine. All in all I have about 12 of these cars. The only one that I paid real money for was the classic bullnose Monte Carlo that has three cylinders with three carburetors and has oil injected directly into the engine block . The ones that I drove usually added a quart of oil directly to a tank of gas.  I am trying to restore the classic Monte Carlo model.

As you read this, you may be asking yourself why I am so fascinated by these cars with three cylinders and a two-cycle engine.

Because the earth itself may be a giant Saab. 

We have inside the earth the equivalent of a giant rotating two cycle engine composed of a 760-mile diameter nickel-iron ball rotating faster than the earth is turning and generating heat at 5000 degrees centigrade and creating  a magnetic field. 

Its cylinder is the earth around it and must be generating high frictional  forces.  So it is not surprising to me that as oil is being rapidly removed from the earth these two cycles like machines are starting to alter its course. Some scientists have suggested that this giant ball is reversing its rotation.

While we have all been told that oil comes from millions of years of   plants and perhaps dinosaurs being compressed there is now a substantial theory that oil is being produced within the earth itself and perhaps like a two-cycle engine provides some lubrication for this internal motor.  Of course when the oil is removed from the earth those spaces are filled with water which is not as good an insulator as oil and thus allow more heat from the center of the earth to heat the water in the oceans.  The water temperature in some parts of the ocean is now reaching 101 degrees this summer.  It is this heat that  provides the energy to generate hurricanes, straight winds and temperature elevations.

It remains a great mystery to me and others about this energy source that when you dig a hole in the ground 32 inches pipes don’t freeze and it generates easily measured magnetic forces.   This coupled with the fact that I don’t know who designed us but lubrication is built into our systems.  Our joints are lubricated with synovial fluid containing hyaluronic acid,  tear drops  lubricate our eyes and there are secretions in our reproductive organs that facilitate breeding.

Even the most  republican denier must now consider that global warming is real and a threat to the people on planet earth .The temperatures worldwide are going up logarithmically.

The theory that global warming is caused by increased levels of carbon dioxide can be questioned.  The original theory was suggested by Eunice Foote in 1856 when she filled one bell shaped jar with air and the other with carbon dioxide. The jar with the carbon dioxide heated up faster that the one with air.

So to save planet earth we need to immediately stop taking oil from the earth and stop fracking which even increases the amount of oil extracted.    Given enough time there is the possibility that the oil that is being produced within the earth will force the water back to the surface and begin to once again service the giant two cycle engine that lives within the center of the earth. 

To save the world and ourselves, we need to stop pumping oil from it and find better alternative energy sources. Whether you believe my theory or not, that’s crystal clear and we should all be hearing that warning from Mother Earth. It’s as loud and as noisy as a two-cycle engine Saab that’s short on oil. 

Editor note: This was written by my father Eddie Adelstein, pathologist, medical examiner, social justice ninja and possibly a genius. It is different for our regularly scheduled program, so to speak, but since we all live on Planet Earth–and he is my Dad, we brought it to your attention.